


spacey and wheatley

by starsprLte



Category: Portal (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Other, at some point. he will say fuck., but i just decided Fuck It. Theyre Gay. so here we are!, edit: i have finished portal 2, i havent watched all of portal 2 yet, i wanted to be prepared for that moment., if youre wondering: i liked it, ok so funny story originally i was scared to mark this as ship, so my characterizations might suck, so now characterization will be a bit better perhaps, wheatley WILL say fuck, while i may not have planned very much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-11-30
Packaged: 2019-12-26 17:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18286502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starsprLte/pseuds/starsprLte
Summary: "Wheatley didn't even try to hold in a sigh for this. Of course. Oooof course. Every time he finds an entrance to a better situation it just- justhasto be ruined. Happened when he trapped GLaDOS in a potato. Happened in the evil lair. Happened here, in literalspace, for crying out loud."slight portal au in which space core says a bit more than just his (albeit really good) space lines, and becomes acquaintances with wheatley! (wheatley doesn't want to admit that they're friends.)





	1. introductions

**Author's Note:**

> howdy yall! a small part of this small au is transmissions, and being able to accept/deny them. thought it would be cool to have since sound cant travel through space and all.
> 
> my tumblr is @/starsprlte

Wheatley floated through space, looking around at the gentle glow of the stars as his own blue 'eye' glowed slightly along with him. He was periodically shaking his head as he thought about time.

How long had it been... How long since he'd been launched into space for his crimes...

It was hard to tell, even if he _did_ have an internal clock that had begun the minute he was completed.

..It was a bit dinky, alright? He wasn't even completely sure if it was set to the right time. Was it daylight savings already? What month was it when he was thrown out here? June, July? Somewhere around that time, probably. 

Going off of that, he'd been in space for... what, _seven_ months? Huh. Felt like just yesterda-

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INCOMING]**

"Dammit, him again? Who knows, maybe this time he actually learned a few words besides "Space" and "Oh my god!"." The core said to himself, almost chuckling at the thought of that orange bastard learning any new bits of speech.

**[TRANSMISSION ACCEPTED]**

Wheatley had to do everything he could to hold in sighing. "What's up, mate?"

" _I'M IN SPAAACE!!!_ "

Nope. Same ol' Space Core as always.

"Alright, well, if that's all you wanted to tell me I'll just be hanging up n-"

" _WAAAAAAIT!_ Wait. Wait wait wait. Wait! Wait."

Wheatley internally bet half of his OS that Space Core was going to talk about space. "Okay, calm down. What?" He knew Space Core wasn't going to calm down but hey, it was worth a shot, right?

Space Core started, "Name? You- have a name. Right? Right. Right right right." 

...Did- Did he just say a sentence that _didn't_ include space in it?

"Since we're in space- Oh my god! We're in _SPACE!! SPAAAACE!!!_ " The orange core quickly went back to starting to yell about space excitedly, and was making what appeared to be hyperventilation noises? No idea how that was happening.

Wheatley snapped out of his state of momentary shock. Dammit, right, okay. Gotta keep him on track here. Maybe he'll start to try to think about ways to get back home. Maybe.

"Yeah, yeah, mate, I know we're in space! This is not new news!" Wheatley tried very hard to pull Space Core back on track. But it is kind of hard to pull things when everything is weightless in space and- _stop floating away from the topic!_

"What-"

"STARS!!! SPACE!!"

" _What_ were you saying about names?!" Wheatley practically shouted.

"Oooh! Oh! Right! Right right right. Names. Uh. Um." Space Core trailed off.

Wheatley didn't even try to hold in a sigh for this. Of course. Oooof _course._ Every time he finds an entrance to a better situation it just- just _has_ to be ruined. Happened when he trapped GLaDOS in a potato. Happened in the evil lair. Happened here, in literal _space_ , for crying out loud.

Space Core suddenly perked back up, both vocally and physically. Wheatley could tell, since they were only about 15 feet away or so. "What's yours? Your name. What name is- OH!!! ASTEROID!!! _OH MY GOD!!!!_ "

... _Oh!_

Okay, maybe he wasn't... too bright. But that made sense. He just wanted to know what Wheatley's name was. Which, made sense, he guessed. They had been up there for seven months (according to his very correct and true calculations), and Wheatley not once introduced himself. However, he thought it was kind of fair, since their first meeting was getting attached to one another and then being violently ejected into space-via portal.

"Oh, right. Call me Wheatley!" He tried to do a gentlemanly bow, but he ended up just throwing himself into a slow-motion summersault headed slowly but surely straight for Space Core, that is, if the fool would stay in one place.

Space Core somehow managed to move slightly fast through space, despite having no limbs and just as much opportunity for moving as Wheatley did, which was slim to none. Maybe it was just the amount of sheer energy inside of his small, metal core body that made him able to move around so quickly. Wheatley wouldn't doubt that as a possibility, his life had already gotten weird enough.

Space Core perked up once more when he _finally_ registered Wheatley's response, which he thought took longer than it should have. If they were on different rotations of Earth, he'd probably been a bit more forgiving. But he was like, what, 10 feet away from him now?! Come on, dude.

"Oh!!!" Space Core hummed a little tune before half-singing, "Wheatley and Spacey hangin in space. Bein' best buds. Because we're in space. Space space space! Star space space! _Spaaaaace!!!_ "

Wheatley began to chuckle a little bit before forcefully turning it into a cough. "Oh- uh- um-" He said, fake coughing a bit more just for good measure. "God, is that all you wanted my name for?"

Space Core enthusiastically nodded while humming the tune to his brand new, very good song.

Hey, wait. Did he call himself 'Spacey'?


	2. meteor shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wheatley, look!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are probably gonna stay relatively short but ill make up for it by like, i dont know, adding a billion chapters so it throws off casual readers? maybe

It had been about... a day, since Space Core- or... Spacey- had communicated something actually _legible_ to Wheatley, and he was still reeling from it. Had he gotten hit by a lone asteroid and just.. robotically hallucinated that whole interaction? That probably wasn't the case, seeing as how Space Core was occasionally humming the tune to the song he'd made.

It was.. weird to hear actual words come from Space Core, but at least Wheatley felt a bit more down to Earth after hearing _something_ other than Spacey's usual babble. Haha, get it? Down to Earth? ...Yeah. Guess Spacey was rubbing off on him a bit.

He wondered how long it'd take Spacey to say something _else_ intelligible. Would it take another seven months? Would it-

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INCOMING]**

"...Is this going to be a new trend?" Wheatley said to himself, "Is- Is he just going to call up, say something that makes sense and then just go back to being weird? That might make me go crazier than I already have up here."

**[TRANSMISSION ACCEPTED]**

"How's it going, Spacey?" Wheatley did not mean to call Space Core 'Spacey'.

"Hey! Hey. Hey. Wheatley! Hey hey hey! Hey Wheatley!" greeted the other core, clearly excited about something, judging by the way he was spinning at semi-high speeds and the way he said 'hey'.

Wheatley made a sound akin to a 'hm?'. He had to admit that he was taken aback a bit by being addressed by name, half forgetting that he'd told the damn core his name, moron that he was.

"Meteor shower. Over there. In space. Look! Look look look!"

Sure enough, there was a meteor shower. It looked rather far away, and it was kind of hard to see if you weren't looking for it, but it was there. And it looked lovely. You'd probably think that there were a lot of meteor showers out in space, but they actually came rather rarely. For Wheatley, at least. He couldn't exactly remember the last time he'd seen a meteor shower, or a shooting star for that matter. So, needless to say, ignoring the ever-deepening homesickness and guilt he felt, it was quite pretty.

And Wheatley decided to let his space-obsessed companion know as much, because he'd been practically screaming this entire time over this.

"... Wow."

'Very expressive, Wheatley. Good work at showing how you feel about this _EXTRAORDINARY_ event currently happening that you haven't seen since you don't know when.' Wheatley internally scolded himself.

Spacey didn't really seem to care about the lack of commentary from Wheatley though (or maybe he just didn't notice?), and this was evident in his yelling.

"Oooh! Oh! Oh oh oh! There goes another one! And another one! _And TWO MORE!!!!!_ " The orange core yelled, and then, his voice broke down to a small whisper, almost like the meteors would be scared away if he got too loud, "It's... It's so.....", before crescendoing into a blaring, " _ **SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE!!!!**_ "

Wheatley couldn't help but laugh at that. You couldn't get this kind of entertainment back on Earth! They were missing out, the poor bastards.

'But, then again, they can see the grass and sky and walls and they don't have to float around in zero-g. They don't have to rely on transmission requests to communicate because they don't _need to_ use them because they're on Earth an-'

He'd stopped laughing now, in favor of thinking all of the reasons why he just hated being in space so much. And how much he missed Earth.

 

How much he missed _home_.


	3. peachy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spacey notices something off about wheatley

Spacey slowly stopped yelling as he realized something really bad.

Wheatley had stopped laughing. Now he was just... staring, and not saying anything. This worried Spacey. Had he yelled _too_ much about space? Was that even possible? It couldn't have been. No. That would be absurd! He'd saved up over 2 terabytes worth of information about space to yell about! There was no way that was the case. But, but what if that was the case? Could Wheatley not handle that much information about space? Had Spacey overestimated how much space one regular core can handle?! _Did he break Wheatley?!_

Spacey decided to try to break the silence.

"Um.. Wheatley? Uh. Um. Wheatley?"

...No reply.

"Wheatley? Hey? Hey Wheatley. Hey? Hey hey hey."

...Nothing.

The core decided to float over to Wheatley using his space acrobatic skills, and he'd managed to stick the landing so that they were just about a foot away! That was a win in his book. Maybe even enough to even out the loss of potentially having broken Wheatley. Maybe.

Wheatley broke out of whatever trance he was in, and looked at Spacey. Spacey looked back.

The orange core hummed happily, pleased that he managed to get some form of reaction. He took a deep breath (hypothetically, of course), before trying his best to figure out how to phrase his question without rambling off about space. It'd been a long time since he'd managed to do that. Now to just, dig around in this code.. try to find the right phrases... Aha! There it is!

It was almost completely corrupted, but he still had some of his conversation coding in tact! Yay!

"Are- Are you alright?" he managed out after a few minutes.

'Okay. Phew. Close one.' Spacey thought. 'Almost started talking about active galaxies for a minute, by the way active galaxies- _Stop_ it.' 

Wheatley looked... surprised, somehow. Maybe he was just seeing things, but it seemed like Wheatley's 'eye' got a bit smaller before returning to its normal size. Probably just his imagination. Did cores have those?

The blue core shook his... 'head', coughing awkwardly a few times.

"Haha, yeah, just- just peachy mate!"

Another two beats went by before Spacey managed to respond. A few bab's had managed their way out while he was trying to figure out how to say what he wanted to say.

"You didn't look p-" .... "peeee-"

"Peachy?"

"p-p-"

Wheatley moved a bit closer. "No, no I- I get what you're trying to say.", he reassured Spacey. "You don't have to say it. I know."

"p...p...." Spacey was _going_ to say this word. Even if it wasn't in his vocabulary he was GOING to say it.

"Don't strain yourself! You might like, I dunno, explode!"

...

Silence.

Now Spacey was the one staring blankly. Oh how the turntables.

Wheatley looked like he was panicking, or the closest you could get to looking panicked as a core.

"Hello? Spacey? Come in? Did you fry your damn systems trying to say 'peachy'?!", Wheatley looked away and muttered a few things about how that was such a _stupidly fitting_ and equally upsetting way to die, before turning back to face the orange core.

"...Are-" Wheatley sounded like he was taking a deep breath. "Are you alright?"

"peachy."

Wheatley groaned. _Audibly_. "And to think I was worried about you for a second there. Ugh."


	4. lazy day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im really glad cores dont have teeth

It'd been a few days of some back and forth half-baked conversations with Spacey, and Wheatley was pretty alright with that. Kind of. That's not to say that the space talk wasn't still as annoying as ever, but at least there was _something_ else to focus on alongside the ever-present space babble.

Wheatley hummed to himself, contemplating if he should be the one to call Spacey 'today' or if-

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INCOMING]**

Dammit, can that bastard hear his thoughts?! Spacey? Hello?! You in here?!?

**[TRANSMISSION ACCEPTED]**

"Quiet." Spacey peeped.

...Wheatley hadn't even said anything yet, and he was already being told to shut up. Grand.

"Sorry? What?"

"Quiet day. In space. Calm. Stars are calm. Sleepy calm. Asleep."

Wheatley shot a look at the other core from across the approximately ten foot gap between them. "What does tha-"

" _Shhh!_ Shh. Wheatley. Wheatley." hushed Spacey, lowering his volume. "You'll wake space up, Wheatley! Shh. It has to rest. Sleepy space. Sleepy. Space. Shh." the core finished, shaking his head 'no'.

..Wheatley was pretty sure space didn't have ears, and even if it did, it couldn't hear transmissions. But.. well. It's a fool's errand to try and argue with Spacey about anything, ever. At any point.

Trust him, he's tried. So much.

"Well," Wheatley began, turning his own volume down, "if you say so. Leave it to Mr. Space Core to know space's sleep schedule, I suppose."

The two cores floated in silence for a while. Wheatley could've just hung up when Spacey stopped talking, but it felt like a monumental thing to hear Spacey... _not_ say anything, for once. So he felt he had to witness it.

'Should I record it, maybe? Upload it to the internet whenever I get home, brag to other cores about being the first core to ever hear Spacey be quiet? That'd be nice.' Wheatley thought to himself.

...

And then he decided it was bloody boring not to talk, since there's nothing else to focus on, and broke the silence with a question.

"So.." Wheatley whispered like he was at a sleepover, telling a funny joke past their bedtime. Not because he well, thought space was asleep, that's dumb. He just didn't want Spacey to yell at him to be quiet and completely avoid his question. "what.. were you originally built for, Spacey?"

'Innocent question, really. Maybe.. he was built for space travel? Space study? No, no. Studying isn't as fun as experiencing. Spacey would be awful at studying space... probably.'

Spacey didn't respond, only occasionally beeping vowels and consonants softly, almost like he hadn't even noticed the question at all. Wheatley chalked it up to him just being quiet. You know, because space is asleep, clearly. Duh.

Wheatley'd actually almost forgotten that he'd even asked what Spacey's purpose was, until Spacey begun to cough a bit, before speaking up.

"I... don't- don't remember. I.. think." Spacey managed out, through gritted hypothetical teeth. (Thankfully)

"Ah.. That's a shame, mate. Y'know, I was built to manage h-" Wheatley began, but then stopping himself. He.. didn't really have any reason to lie, did he? It's not like he had a reputation anymore, that flew out the window the minute he flew out into space. And, as much as he hated to admit it.. he _was_ built to... well, be an 'idiot'. He wasn't actually an idiot, okay? Geez.

Wheatley inhaled. "Actually...I was built to dampen GLaDOS' intelligence.." and exhaled. God, he hated admitting his purpose. Made him feel dumber every minute that he talked about it.

A beat passed before Spacey responded, and Wheatley waited patiently. Usually, he'd snap if he didn't get a response from somebody within the first 5 seconds of him initiating conversation, but he.. didn't want to push Spacey too far. Him actually _saying things_ and not talking about space was really rare, and Wheatley didn't want to screw it up.. like he had with... everything else. And also, he had no idea what was happening in that weird little code of Spacey's. Like, if he was interrupted during his thinking cycle, would the core burst into flames?

"Like... like a- SPACE! ..hacker?" Spacey managed to get out, speech (partially) unscathed by space babble. Spacey shook his head, but mostly at himself, almost like he was internally scolding himself.

Wheatley's mood brightened a bit at that. It was an.. uninformed take on his original purpose, yeah, but.. it was a nice one. Made him feel cooler than he really was. Cool Wheatley hacks GLaDOS' brain to make her stupider and make bad decisions!

He chuckled a bit. "..Yeah mate, like a space hacker."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wheatley: if two guys were on the moon and one killed the other with a rock would that be fucked up or what  
> spacey: space
> 
> (also if you were here when this chapter was uploaded the first time. ignore it i made edits)


	5. adventurous visitor

Wheatley somersaulted weightlessly through space. He'd been trying to figure out Spacey's technique for such easy space travel. Maybe he'd be able to do it so well that he could FLING himself back down to Earth. That'd be fun!

Trying to figure out Spacey's technique, however, is not fun. How does that core _do_ it?

Might as well ask, eh?

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION OUTGOING]**

**[TRANSMISSION ACCEPTED]**

"Hey Spacey, just wanted to ask, how do you... move? so well? in space? Just wondering."

Spacey hummed for a minute. "Well I." he beeped out before continuing to move in the very precise shape of a star. He'd learned to do that recently, but... 

...Well he what???

"Sorry?" Wheatley asked, trying to sound offended but ending up sounding more amused than anything.

Spacey offered him the best shrug he could manage. "Easy when you're in space. Space. Space space." The orange core said, with more intelligence than Wheatley could ever _hope_ to achieve.

'Can't believe this. The only other core in space, and he won't even share how he moves with me. Unbelievable. Houston, send me a new core sidekick.' Wheatley thought to himself.

And for once, the imaginary Houston that Wheatley conjured up in his little core mind decided to answer his- very _sarcastic_ , dammit!- plea.

By throwing a core directly at the back of Wheatley's body.

At full force.

Thanks, Houston.

\- - -

"OW!! _FUCK!!_ " Wheatley yelped, and then trying so hard, he slowly turned around to see just what the _hell_ hit him.

Ah. Alright, well.

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTION INCOMING]**

Wheatley glared at the bastard of a core that was appropriately glaring back at him. "..Do NOT let him in, Spacey." Wheatley commanded his space-obsessed friend.

Not that they were friends. They weren't.

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTION ACCEPTED. 1/2]**

See? Not friends. No friend would do this.

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTION DENIED. 1/2]**  
**[STALEMATE DETECTED. WOULD Y--**

"UGH, _FINE! Fine!_ God, anything not to hear that awful bloody voice again." Wheatley practically hissed. He swore he could hear Spacey beeping out something that sounded like a laugh, but he was a bit too annoyed with that stupid announcer voice to care.

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION INTERCEPTION ACCEPTED. 2/2]**

"Hey, annoyance. Hey, big bad guy. You guys miss good ol' Rick?" greeted the green bastard of a core.

Wheatley didn't miss good ol' Rick.

He'd never really liked him, either, especially during corruption. Well, he didn't like being corrupted at all, but at least Spacey's babble was a bit easier to tune out due to the repetition, and Wheatley didn't have to listen to that weird Fact core's facts for more than five minutes.. but Rick going on and on about all of his amazing and cool adventures that he _totally_ went on, along with Rick flirting with Chell... for some reason? _The height_ of annoying. And, he was like, fifty percent sure that Rick knew that Chell couldn't hear him once he was connected to the central core. But then again, maybe Rick was even more of an idiot than Wheatley.

Unlikely, but a core can dream.

Anyway, his point here is that he does NOT like Rick. 

"Hello, Mr. 'Well, this thorn is about to take you down'." Wheatley replied dryly, rolling his eye.

"Shut the hell up! It sounded better in my head!" Rick said, snapping from his very thin facade of chill nice guy.

"Uh-huh. I bet it did. I also bet that you don't even, um..." Wheatley faltered, mumbling incoherently.

"Don't even what, you cracked eyed, soggy barley, no arms, coward of a core?"

"..What?"

"You heard me!"

Suddenly, Wheatley got a bright idea. "At least _I_ was smart enough to take the facility out from her control. All by myself, yep." Lying a bit never hurt anybody. 

Rick scoffed, "Yeah, burning and breaking most of the place down to the ground in the process."

"W-well, you show ME just how easy it is to run an entire science facility underground with a literal bottomless pit!! I'd say I did rather well. Much better than you, probably." Wheatley quickly retorted, sounding too defensive for his own liking.

"Are those fightin' words, little man? I'll have you know I could run an entire facility with my eye closed _while_ complimenting ten women at once, and ALSO while bench pressing 10 cars. That I built."

The two cores had gotten rather close to one another, almost like the exact definition of butting heads. Of course, they were about half a foot away from each other, but that was pretty close, considering they were in space. Close enough to completely forget that there was a third core, listening in and watching the entire argument, a few feet away, in complete silence, until now.

Before either party could say another word, there was a specific orange core between the two of them.

"Hey! Hey hey hey. Hey. Hey! Hey!"

"Ugh, what does this idiot want?"

"Talking about yourself in the third person, are we?"

Spacey coughed, narrowing his eye at Rick, and then Wheatley.

"Look. We're in SPAAAAAAAACE-" Spacey began, spinning when he said space.

Rick groaned loudly.

"Grow up." Spacey finished, before adding on very tactfully while floating away, "Oh, hey! Star! Stars! Wooo!"

"Spacey's right. You were clearly the most annoying back down on Earth, but I don't want to stoop down to your level. So I won't." Wheatley said, matter-of-factly.

Rick rolled his eye. "I didn't come hurtling out of a weird... rock... belt to be insulted by- hey, wait. How the hell is he so good at that?" Rick questioned, looking over at Spacey who now seemed to be trying to do a crescent moon shape.

Wheatley offered him the best shrug he could manage, and, saying in his best Spacey impression (which wasn't very good), "Easy when you're in space. Space. Space space."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space. Space space.


	6. Wheatleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry i have been dead. been hyperfixating on minecraft and my own original projects so ive left this in the dust for a bit. However all is not lost! i thought for a good 4 seconds and whipped this up.

It'd been about a week, and Wheatley was _really_ starting to regret saying he wouldn't stoop down to Rick's level. The green fool just wouldn't _shut up_ about his _stupid adventure stories!_

Wheatley was starting to get the feeling that Spacey was getting a bit tired of him too, even though he was too polite (or too clueless?) to say so. Rick liked to butt in on Wheatley and Spacey's calls whenever he picked up the frequency of them. And since Spacey didn't like to deny the request, and Wheatley didn't like to hear the "STALEMATE DETECTED"... he often made it in.

Speaking of, that's actually what they're in the middle of now!

"And then, right when I was about to be incinerated by his flamethrower, that was probably kicked up to 300 degrees KELVIN, I busted out some SWEET karate moves I learned back home, along with some taekwondo, and jujutsu, and..." Rick blabbered on.

Spacey twirled, bored. Of course, the occasional _baap_ still blipped out, but it was much quieter now, and nowhere near as enthusiastic as before.

Wheatley was groaning incessantly, feeling like he was going to **lose it** if he had to listen to another hour of Rick's Fun Adventure Story Corner That You Can't Get Out Of Even If You Have A Bloody Flamethrower. 

"So, that's the end of that thrilling tale!" Rick cheerfully concluded, seemingly unaware of the fact he was basically killing his fellow cores with tales of stealing treasure and getting the girl. He'd probably gotten like, ten girls at this point. By far too many, it'd become apparent that Rick had never learned that sharing is caring. Or, perhaps, he just didn't care.

Spacey and Wheatley immediately perked up, excited to finally be done with this conversation.

Wheatley was the first to speak, "Really?! It- it is!?" he sputtered, taken off guard.

Rick chortled, "Yep! But, if you want, I could tell you _another_ story about the time I-"

"NO! No. No no. No more. No. Please." Spacey begged. "Too much. Too boring! Oh my god. Nooooo!"

Rick sighed, "Alright, alright. I'll get off your management rails for now. Mr. Adventure core, _out_. Man, that sounded cool!"

Wheatley let out a long sigh of relief, before glancing over at Spacey.

Spacey glanced back.

"He did _not_ sound cool at all, right? Like, we're both on the same page about that?"

"Toooootally uncool. Mega not cool." Spacey hummed in agreement. "But you know what _iiiiis_ cool? Do you? Do you? Wheatley do you? Do you know?"

Wheatley lightly chuckled, feeling almost... relieved, to hear Spacey talk about the infamous vacuum which he was named after. Like a light at the end of a fictitious adventure-ridden tunnel. He decided to humor his orange-eyed acquaintance. "Let me guess... is it... could it possibly be, somehow, miraculously, unbelievably and inconceivably be.... _space_?"

Spacey paused, before shaking his body to signal 'no'. "Nope! Nope-ity nope! No!"

"Oh, then by all means, please enlighten me, what is it?"

If you're wondering, the reason he, Wheatley, had been peppering in more... _extravagant_ words than normal into his vocabulary, was because one time Spacey'd said he thought it was weird whenever Wheatley used words that weren't in his own vocabulary. Such as peachy. So, Wheatley decided that whenever Spacey pulled one of these "spacebits" as he'd like to call them, he'd use as many words that Spacey didn't know as possible. Of course, it wasn't to be _mean_ , goodness, no. That orange core had begun repeating some of those words a few hours after the exchange they were used in. He was _learning_. Which, Wheatley found very endearing(no, not that, prideful? proud? oh god, he felt _proud._ ) and very worrying at the same time, because it was only a matter of time before Wheatley taught Spacey every word in his vocabulary, and Spacey would eventually use those words against him.

Wheatley had been so caught up in his own thoughts he didn't even notice that Spacey had replied to his question, before he snapped out of his own mind to hear Spacey going "Wheatleyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy" for who knows _how long_.

"Aghh! Ahhh! Ah! Ah. Sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't- Ugh." Wheatley half-apologized, half groaned. "I'm sorry, I... _spaced_ out, Spacey. What is it that you said?"

Spacey stopped to take a breath of air that didn't exist, and that he didn't need. "Well! Okay. Okay okay okay. What I said waaaaaas...... you!"

"...eh?"

"You're cool!" Spacey beeped happily.

"A-Ah! I, um," Up next, stay tuned for, **Wheatley Didn't Expect This And He Doesn't Know How To Respond!** "Thank... you. And, uhm, you as well. You are cool too. Cooler than Rick's stories, at least."

"Yaaaaay!"


	7. "acquaintances"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> rick makes an awfully true statement about wheatley and spacey's relationship

Rick's mind and code was expertly crafted, with the most intelligent lines that anybody had ever seen, if he allowed anybody to see it, at least. If anybody ever did see his coding, they would probably scream, and say-

"Sweet Jesus, Rick! Could you shut up for five seconds?!" Wheatley interrupted, _rudely_. "We are trying to have a serious conversation for once! Once, man!"

"Huh? Oh, sorry. Was I talking out loud? I wasn't listening to whatever you losers were saying. Why am I in this call again?"

He heard a few entertained beeps out of Spacey, like he was laughing. He did that a lot whenever Rick and Wheatley argued, or maybe he was always like that? He'd have to talk to him later in private to see.

Wheatley sighed, annoyed. "We were discussing ways to try and get back to Earth, if there are any."

"Easy, duh." Rick scoffed, "Just float towards it? And then land."

"Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!" A certain an orange nuisance beeped into the conversation. "No! Nope! Impossible and wrong."

"How's it impossible?? Do you guys know nothing about physics? You'll just _land_."

Spacey stared at Rick for a good while, blankly. 

...

Rick had no idea how long he'd been staring, but it was starting to make him extremely uncomfortable.

Spacey eventually, however, came back. And said, with the most serious voice he could manage..

"If you were to float towards Earth, when you reach its atmosphere, you would be affected by gravity again, and due to how high in the sky you would be, you would fall at _very_ high speeds, resulting in heat quickly building up, before being set on fire. And, then, after that, you have to think about where you would land, and how you would break, since there is effectively _nowhere_ safe to land if you're a core. We aren't waterproof, or landproof."

Silence.

Wheatley stared at Spacey, shocked. Rick could barely understand _what the hell_ just happened.

Quietly, Wheatley began to chuckle. "Sp- Spacey! What the hell was that?! That was amazing! You spoke like, a whole bloody paragraph!! And you didn't babble once!" If Wheatley had a mouth, Rick was certain he'd have a big goofy smile on his face.

Spacey sputtered out a few vowels in surprise, "What?!?! What what what what what?!?! Did- Did that- ..that worked?!"

"YEAH, MAN!!! That was incredible!!" Wheatley laughed, "Spacey, I'm so proud of you!"

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a minute here. Hold your horses." Rick quickly interrupted this sweet moment, "Do you mean to tell me that this little orange freak here managed to speak for a good three or five minutes..."

 

"because my suggestion was _dumb!?!?_ "

Wheatley looked at Spacey for an answer, to which the core happily obliged. "Yes! Exactly! Yep!! You get a gold star from space, Rick! A whooooole star."

Rick rolled his eye, "You guys got all of the character development without me! You guys are like, friends now or something. It's so weird."

The blue core made a choking sound, and being properly miffed at the accusation, shot back, "We are _not_ friends. Noooo, nononono. I don't do friends anymore. Me and Spacey are simple acquaintances."

"You just told him you were proud of him."

"A-Acquaintances can be proud of one another!"

"Uh-huh. Sure. What's his favorite constellation, then?"

"What on _Earth_ makes you think I know his favorite constellation!?!"

Rick looked at Wheatley, but said nothing.

Wheatley quickly buckled under his gaze, and looked down in shame. "He loves all of them, but especially the Big Dipper and Ursa Major."

More beep-laughing came from Spacey, but Rick chose to ignore it. "Yeah, exactly. As much as you haaaate to admit it, you're friends with this guy. I'd even go as far to say best friends... Hey, wait, when did he start floating next to me?" He looked at the orange core, confused.

"You're very right, Mr. Rick! Sir Rick! Rick of the century. Super right! ...Super Rick!"

" _THANK_ you.... Spacey! At least somebody around here appreciates my observational skills."

"You thought we could just float back down to Earth."

"Shut the hell up, Barley."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no me and space core arent bros! no! not even once! but i do know his favorite constellations and im very proud of him an-


	8. questionnaire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> spacey asks rick about things

Spacey whirled through space, attempting to orbit around Wheatley, who was currently in sleep mode. Ever since Rick had said that he and Wheatley were best friends, it got him thinking. They don't talk about... best friend stuff, but, maybe they should! They could talk about space, and, stars, and, and maybe Wheatley could finally learn a constellation! That'd be _so_ cool. Wheatley knew names, but not looks. And he _alwayyyys_ confuses Ursa Major with Orion's Belt, and that's like, kindergarten!!

It also got Spacey thinking about... Rick, and that maybe... Rick wasn't as bad as he'd first seemed!

Sure, he's... really mean sometimes, and his adventure stories are _really boring_... but maybe that's just a front! Maybe Rick just needs somebody to talk to! Spacey had done a really good job at breaking down Wheatley's walls, he thinks. He didn't want to be.. _best_ friends with Rick- god, _no_ \- but, he could be a stand-in until Rick's _real_ best friend came along!

And so, that's how Spacey ended up willingly calling Rick.

 

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION OUTGOING]**

Rick looked at Spacey from where he was floating, which was rather far away from Wheatley. He said that the brit kicked him in his sleep one time, _"and he doesn't even have legs! so i'm staying faaar away from him during naptime."_

Spacey twirled happily back at him.

**[REQUESTED TRANSMISSION ACCEPTED]**

"Alright, so, did Wheatley put you up to this? Are you here to annoy me while he sleeps? Why are _you_ calling _me_ an-"

"Do you have any- SPACE!- friends?" Spacey interrupted. space friends is close enough to friends, yeah? yeah.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah! I-I mean, _noooo_. You are not excused. Nope! So do ya? Do ya do ya do ya?"

Rick stared at Spacey. Spacey stared back while orbiting.

Rick scoffed, "Oh, yeah, I had _tooons_ of friends back on Earth, I'm talkin in the thousands here, they all thought I was so co-"

"Ah-ah-ba-da! Ah!" Spacey beeped out, along with a few other vowels.

Rick groaned. "Ugh, _what_?"

"I mean friends that you can see."

 

Rick glared at Spacey.

Spacey twirled happily back at him.

 

"Pssshh... whats'it'to'ya if I had friends or not? S'not like it makes a difference now.." Rick mumbled, a bit embarrassed.

"Hehehe, just curious!" Spacey beeped. "Oh, oh! Oh hey! Hey! Look! Over there!"

Rick looked where Spacey was... supposedly looking. It was kind of hard to tell, what with him _still_ orbiting around a sleeping Wheatley. Does he know that Spacey does that?

And, huh... if he uses the zoom function on his eye (that he was _specially equipped with_ and that Spacey totally _doesn't_ also have), that's.... that seems a lot like... "Gah, what's the name of that damn planet? Uh, Herry?"

"Maaaaarssss...." Spacey whispered in awe. "This is the closest I've ever been!!! Hi Mars! Hi! You're looking very red today!"

"Oh, yeah. Careful with those compliments, bud. You'll make it redder than it is orange."

"PLANETS CAN- CAN CHANGE COLOR?! Rick! Rick, why didn't you tell me that?! I'm the Space Coooore! Made for knowing EVERYTHING about _SPAAAACE_!!" Spacey beeped in disbelief, making Rick cackle. "If- If you knew something about space that I didn't... then, then- that- that means-"

Rick managed to quiet his cackling before Spacey had an existential crisis. "Chill out, you little yellow-orange freak. I'm not gonna steal your damn job! It was a joke! You know what those are, right?"

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Wheatley- He- He makes those sometimes!"

"Are they funny?"

"Wanna talk more about space?"

"Nooo _ooooooohhhh_...Wait, did you j-"

"GIANT BOULDER MONSTER!"

"WHAT? WHERE? WHERE IS THAT BASTAR- _SPACEY_. Stop.. whatever it is you're doing! Stop it!"

Spacey, bastard that he is, was beep-laughing very hard at Rick. He's just so easy to rile up, how could Spacey _not_ laugh?? "Okay, okay I- I'm super duper sorry, Captain Rick of the Seven Seas, so super sorry. Seven."

"A'ight, okay, so did you just call me to ask about my social life and interrupt me, or-"

"Favorite color?" Spacey quickly shot back.

 

...a beat passed

 

"...Alright, fine, I'll play your game." Rick sighed in defeat. "Pink."

Spacey stopped orbiting for a good second, shaking his head, before continuing his spin around Wheatley. If space wasn't a vacuum he'd definitely be awake by now. "No lies! None! Don't lie!"

"I'm not lying! Pink is really my favorite color, how's that so unbelievable?"

Spacey hummed in thought for a good while, before nodding.

Rick rolled his eye, "Okay, hotshot. What's your favorite color?"

"SP-"

" _ **DON'T**_ say space."

".......................................blue."

Rick looked at Spacey.

Spacey looked at Rick.

Rick looked at Wheatley, and then back at Spacey.

"Like a moth to a flame, huh."

Spacey twirled happily back at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wanted to write a bit of spacey and rick interaction :3


End file.
